Open Adoption Parenting

Reading THIS POST from Lori and her wisdom in handling this situation is something that I hope I am able to hold onto as Isabel gets older.

Her daughter in a moment of anger and sadness said "Why can't Crystal and Joe be my parents!?" She immediately went through her checklist.

1. Calm, center, open. Breathe, and be aware of my breathing.
2. Listen. Let her do most of the talking.
3. Assess. What is she really saying or asking?
4. Trade places. What might this look like, feel like, to her?
5. Abide. Give her space to feel her feelings.
6. Speak. Equal parts head and heart

Of course this conversation started in the car as I've heard so many conversations start. It's a safe place for children. A place where we as parents can't make eye contact with them. Also a place where we can hide the reaction on our faces just incase we are caught off guard.

I think #2 is the most important for me. To not just start talking and trying to reassure your child when they say things that you think are said out of pain. Trying to comfort them when they just need to talk.