Flower

Can't believe it's really been almost 3 years since I have been her mom and known this young lady. It has been the wildest of rides I could never have imagined. I wanted to give up so many times but I kept at it because of this sweet little one that calls me mommy.
We met today to take some pictures for Flower's 3rd birthday next month. Took a bunch of Flower and then Sun arrived and took a few with her.
After the first pictures were taken together Flower walked towards me and said she needed her mommy. She told me she wanted to go home. I gave her a good hug and cuddle and she was ready for a couple more pictures making eye contact with me between smiles.
Open adoption can be such a blessing even when it's scary. (we have one easy one and one tough one) Flower will always know who her mommy is but she is blessed to get to know who cared for her before she was born. Who did her best to try for her and when she couldn't she admitted she couldn't and didn't fight adoption. She is working very hard at earning our trust and getting to know us. She might have made plenty of bad choices but she is a part of our family to the end no matter what.


 She loves Paddington so we did a little Paddington set.

 And we always manage to get a picture with flowers which is why I always end up buying the cd.

 Snuck this one in at the last moment. The photographer had just done a similar one with Sun and I knew exactly what I wanted to do as soon as I saw it.

Flower now has a frame in her room with a big picture with both her mamas. It's perfect.

 And we'll be getting one with Tinkerbell and her other mama next time we see her. Wasn't able to do it last time but I did try to find a place.

First week home, one month old - 1 year old - 2 years old

This little amazing tornado of a blessing is going to have a birthday next month. Can't believe I'll have been her mom for almost 3 years and her forever mom for a year.

Mothers Day

For Mothers Day I told D I wanted to go camping. So we took off last weekend for a one night camping trip. We unplugged and enjoyed each other so much. So fun to watch my girls loving being together while enjoying the beauty of nature. Waking up next to them in the tent was so special. Walking a trail together and feeding squirrels.

Tinkerbell loved it so much she wrote about it at school.

So glad my girls love camping. It's such a fun way to vacation. Can't wait till our next trip late summer.

Mommy

Life is pretty quiet these days. Just lots of busy normal life stuff. That is until visit day arrives.
I love having a relationship with my girls bio moms. I really do. But some days I wish we could live an hour away from the one that is much easier to be with.

We had a visit today.

She's trying to earn our trust. She's trying to do the right thing. And I see that and I appreciate it.

Today she asked what we were doing for Flower's birthday. Honestly I'm not sure yet. Tired of the big party thing and have enjoyed family outings the past two years for her birthday. So I'm still deciding. She wanted to know if she and her family could join us. So we're talking about ideas for that which would be nice. She told me that she would like to get to know D and I better. As I drove home I was thinking about that and I reminded that she didn't get to decide who would be her daughter's mom and dad. That loss of control in this situation must be very hard.

We also had a somewhat uncomfortable moment but it warmed my heart so very much today. It was what I needed to hear from my sweet girl.
While on the playground Flower says to Sun "You're not my mommy. You're my Sun." She said the same thing to me later that night "Sun not my mommy. You my mommy."

We have always referred to Sun as Mama Sun out of respect through the foster journey. But it seems that Flower might be trying to take control of her title all on her own. So proud of her. I don't mind her calling her Mama Sun but I love that my girl, at not yet 3, knows what she wants.  She is one of a kind this little one. So proud to be called her mommy.

Tucked my baby girl in one last time as a 6 year old. Can't believe she'll be 7 tomorrow.

She is such an amazing girl. Has such a heart for others. She loves so deeply. Such a helpful young lady. She loves to dance, sing and cook. She has become a very good reader but hates math. (Sad since I love it) She is so creative coming up with fun things to do. She absolutely loves being in Girl Scouts with me. She is an amazing friend. So sensitive and caring.

She brightens my life every day.