Goodbye Visit

Goodbye visit with Mama Sun yesterday. It was emotional, good and draining. It was a roller coaster. Mama Sun says she wants to come see us and we'll gladly welcome a visit if she does. The thought of her moving out there (if she chooses that) does worry me some, not because I don't want Flower to have that connection but because Tinkerbell needs a break from the anxiety and fear it causes her.

Yesterday as we prepared for the visit and took Tinkerbell to a friends house (we leave the choice up to her to come to a visit or not) she expressed her fear. She was afraid that Flower would not return with us. Afraid that Mama Sun would not allow Flower to move with us and she would keep her. I of course reassured her but I know it didn't help much until we got home and they were together again. Had I realized her fear I probably wouldn't have let her stay with a friend and go through that anxiety on her own. But she had a great time and so did Flower.

Flower does great in pretty much any situation. She is outgoing and just a people person. We started our visit at her aunt's home (the one that briefly had custody) and was a little quiet at first. But she got over that quickly. And at the park she was running around playing and having fun being her independent adventurous self.

She loves her Mama Sun. She gives her hugs and kisses and talks with her constantly. On the drive over (1 hour drive) she said that Mama Sun was going to miss her and be sad. So I know she's starting to realize that we are moving and not going to see her. It's hard knowing what she truly understands at 3 but she is a very smart girl.

Leaving Bio Family

So we're moving and that of course means leaving Flower's bio family. It wasn't easy telling Sun. She asked if she could follow us. Wasn't sure what to say to that one. Then her sister called and informed me that we can't take her away. She also said she would follow us.

We don't like moving away from bio family but we've had to do it before. We always have to do what we feel is best for our family.

We will do our part of keeping them involved in her life even from afar. But it's not the same.

I don't really think any of them are serious about following us. But we will see if they say anything else about it. We will have our final visit with them today.

Adventure Awaits

Adventure awaits our family. We are moving from one end of the west cost to the other soon. This is going to be a very big change for us. We'll be able to drink hot chocolate to warm up instead of just because we like it.

 We will wear long sleeves and closed toed shoes for more than 2 weeks out of the year.

 We'll have GRASS! That is the first thing our girls request when we started talking about moving. 

 And trees other than palm trees.

 And we will be able to take walks and see nature. And maybe even a caribou or bear.

We are on an adventure and we are excited and nervous. We are scared but excited. New opportunities await our family and I am excited to see all God has done for us and all He will continue doing for us.

Adoption Conversations

Adoption conversations always happen in the car for us (and many of my friends). They feel safe there. They know you can't sit eye to eye with them and answer. They also have your attention.

Tinkerbell is 7 now and asked about her birth dad the first time when she was about 4 1/2. We only know a limited amount of details about him. And she only asks about him a few times a year. When she does we remind her of what we know and it's enough for the time.

The most recent conversation, as always I answered the best I could, but we were both left with some unanswered questions. I have a feeling she would really like to see a connection to her skin color in someone so we talked about the fact that they share that in common. I asked her if a picture might help her and have been able to get one so we will be sharing that with her soon.

Having pictures of her biological family available to her (and Flower) to see when she wants is important to us. Both our girls have pictures of them with their bio mom in their rooms.

 Enjoying summer here but school is about to start. 2nd grade. I'm still in denial.

 

 This little one is fearless in so many things it's surprising when she meets something she is afraid of. Her newest fear was picking raspberries. Not sure it if was the tiny thorns or the bees that were close. But she got over her fear thanks to her love of fruit.