Word of the Year

Each year since 2012 I've held on to a word through the year. And I just found this years today so I thought I'd share.

2012 was HOPE

M&L were with us and we waited, prayed and HOPEd that the state would do the right thing. And they did. Then we waited with HOPE for our next placement. And then Flower came home.

2013 was BELIEVE 

Flower left us and everyone around me told me that she'd be back but I couldn't pray that since it meant someone would fail her for her to come back. Then she came back. And we started visits again and life got crazy and scary at times and hard. 2013 ended in exhaustion. But I learned to BELIEVE that God was in control of it all.

2014 was JOY (and still is!) 

As we waited for news of adoption I learned that I needed to cling to JOY. That with JOY fear can not live. This was a complete life change for me. Choosing to live in JOY instead of fear was an unexpected journey of self reflection for me. I am so glad that JOY was able to be the focus of the year we adopted Flower. We ended 2014 with JOY and expectation for the next year.

2015 is ANCHOR 

I am on a 100 day journey of prayer thanks to THIS book. It's been amazing. It's been hard. I have missed days and seen how different those days are then the days I don't miss. Through the 100 day journey I'm focusing my prayers on one specific thing for our family. Many other things come up but this book helps me stay focused and reminds me that continually bringing our request to God is what He wants us to do. But I am in a weary spot. Weary of praying and not receiving an answer yet. I know it will come. I trust that God will answer in His time. But I am human and I am weary. And this morning I read a post on facebook by a prayer warrior friend and in there she said one thing that brought this word to me for this year. This year of faith and waiting.

Prayer anchors us in Gods strength for our battles.

And that is what I need right now. I need God's strength to help continue fighting through this battle we are in of waiting for God's answer. So I will continue praying through my 100 day journey and beyond. And at some point, in His time God will answer.

This is Tinkerbell's last week of school and today was award day. I was so excited when she brought home a note saying she would be receiving an award and couldn't be more proud of our 1st grader. She really has come a very long way this year with her reading and it has been all her hard work that got her there.

Tinkerbell

This little pumpkin continues to amaze me as she grows. She is so full of life and love. She is curious but holds back so much so when I see her do things like climb a tree I'm a little caught off guard because she would never have done that a year ago. But now she's a little more daring and excited to try new things.
She is the best big sister ever. She loves Flower so much and takes care of her. She looks out for her and will defend her almost all the time when they are with friends. They of course fight like sisters too and now how to drive their mama crazy.

She also loves her birth mama so very much. I explained what a bond or connection was to her the other day as I was telling her that they have a special bond that no one can ever break. I told her how I would never try to break the bond that she and her birth mama have together. Wouldn't dream of it. Seeing Flower's bio mom once a month is hard on Tinkerbell. She has started opening up more and sharing her emotions with me more about this recently. It's both exciting and emotional as she grows and understands more and expresses more.

I'm glad that I have had 7 years of loving her and loving her birth mom before these new emotions are coming out. I can see how easily it would be to just want to shut that part of her story out if I weren't secure in not being her only mom. But I'm glad I get to share her. I wish we were closer to be able to share more. And I look forward to the day when Tinkerbell is old enough to spend some time with her over summer vacation without us. Not anytime soon, but someday, when they are both ready.

Birthday Party Take 2

Mama Sun wanted to have a birthday party for Flower. We set aside the Saturday of her actual birthday and waited for more information. She wanted to do it at Chuck E Cheese.

I was as nervous as I normally am with visits. The anxiety leading up to it is far worse then the visits ever are because the visits are normally fine.

We got there and I was glad I recognized a few of the kids hollering Flower's name. Sun's sisters were there and a few family friends and a bunch of kids. They spoiled our girl real good. She loved her special party. 
Playing games with her cousin.

A Frozen themed cake for the birthday girl. She got a cape, crown and bracelet from Chuck E Cheese. They went all out.

She loved the cake so much she wouldn't stop for more pictures with all the kids.

It was stressful but it was so worth it for all the memories of Flower and Sun to have this day together.

Birthday Girl

This little girl is fierce and bold. She is amazing in everything she does even when it's getting in trouble. It's taken me awhile to see her mischievous ways as anything but hard to handle. But lately I've been finding so much joy in who she is. In exactly who she is the way God made her. Gum picking off the bottom of tables and all. I love this little crazy monster (She loves Monsters Inc).

She loves everything! Especially Paddington and Olaf right now. Today was her first ever birthday party with friends. We've celebrated her each year in different ways. But today she had cupcakes and was sung Happy Birthday too. That's all she wanted. The presents were just an extra bonus to her. Love this kid! Happy Birthday Sweet Flower.

My kids favorite part of any party is the cake or cupcakes.

We choose a beautiful nature preserve to do her party at. Has trout ponds and a wading pool for the kids. It is one of new favorite places and so close to home. We love it.